Are "Deserve" and "Fair" Mutually Exclusive?

I am having a conversation with somebody who is being mostly a contrarian lately.  Basically, anything I say, she is giving me the contrarian opinion.  Its funny how relationships work out.  In the beginning, its all "Yeah, yeah, I totally agree!" and then when the relationship takes a turn, its completely opposite "No, I think you are wrong.  I don't believe that!" 

That is the current phase of this quickly eroding relationship. 

I told her that I used to believe that things you deserved were only given to you, but now I believe that sometimes you have to take what you deserved, and I'm going to start taking what I deserve. 

"I don't believe in deserving or fairness." 

While I agree that I don't believe in "fairness," a concept reserved for children, why can't I believe in "deserving"? 

I am a nice person, a good person, and when certain things come around, I believe that they are deserving of my time and vice versa.  If you get tickets to the super bowl and I don't get tickets to the super bowl, it's not because "That's not fair!" You probably have your tickets to the super bowl because you spent $3000.  You may have very well deserved that.

Not necessarily, but I certainly don't deserve the tickets.  Most scenarios in which I would buy tickets to the super bowl would be undeserving because I don't make enough money to buy tickets.  I could save for a year.  I could save a group of school children from a burning bus and the school could decide to send me to the super bowl.  But mostly, if I went to the super bowl, it would be because I won a radio contest or a friend decided to take me.  Those aren't deserving reasons, but they are reasons.

But how about in terms of relationships?  Do I deserve certain people?  I believe if you are rotten, you should get what you deserve, even if it doesn't usually work out that way.  That's not about me saying "It's not fair that they are together!" it about me saying "Well, you probably deserve somebody better, but you make the choices you make."

I'm simply going to make better choices.  Those people that don't deserve my time won't get my time.  I suppose that if somebody gave me their time that I did not deserve, I would not turn them away by saying that they were making a bad decision, but I would appreciate the fact that I was spending time with somebody so great. 

That's the way it should be, even if it is not "fair."